Italian version

This story is by my good friend Paolo. It is about a fact happened in May 2022. It shows us how it is possible to arrive at conflict from a barroom discussion, and how wonderfully it is possible to defuse it. Thank you Paolo!

It was a sunny day, I was quietly enjoying an ice cream. At one point, a man with a white beard like mine approached me and asked if he could sit at the same table. “Sure,” I replied. He started asking my age, complimenting me on my athleticism. Wde exchange names and ages, me 77 and him 70, and then he asked me if I believed in reincarnation.

We started talking about God, spirituality, the purpose of life, and then Freud and Jung. I was, despite myself, drawn into a discussion that became more and more heated. I must say that I was calmly expounding by rebutting his statements with a certain logic. Then he told me that he is a Creationist Evangelist minister, and on the other hand I revealed my position as an atheist, secularist and pantheist. The discussion went on heatedly, and at one point Nicola (that is the name of the person) told me that he wasreally angry, that he could not even have his coffee anymore, which in the meantime had gone cold. I realized how the situation had degenerated into an irremediable conflict. Then I asked myself:
“Should I now leave with anger inside? And resuming my path, should I leave thinking I have met a creationist jerk, and he, surely, has met a conceited atheist idiot? But how is it possible that, after barely ten minutes, we have arrived in a religious war? I must find a way to defuse this aberrant mechanism.”

Turning to him, I said:
“Look Nicola, I’ll make you a proposal. Let’s forget our conflict, or rather better accept that we have very different ideas about creation and divinity, and now I’ll tell you four things, four assertions, and you have to tell me whether you agree with them or not.”
“Today is a beautiful, sunny day with warm, fragrant air, do you agree?”
  “Yes I agree.”
“Look at those two children sitting at the little table across the street, eating ice cream. How beautiful they are.”
  “ Yes, I agree”
“Human dignity is sacred”
  “Yes, I agree”
“A nice glass of wine, the good kind, is a fairy tale”
  “Yes, I agree”
“And now please try”
  “The holy man is the one who seeks peace”
“OK, I agree wholeheartedly. You see Nicola, beyond our differences, I believe that we have 90% in common, as human beings with our feelings and thoughts. Only 10% is different. And for this 10% we have to dig in our heels?”
  “No, it’s not 90% but 60%.”
“OK, 60% is fine too.”
Smiles, tension gone, no more conflict, no more trying to prove each other right, at all costs.
If you don’t give up being necessarily right, if you don’t give up saying “God is on my side,” wars are unlikely to cease.

If you would like, please send your comment to info@esperienzedivalore.it, I will be happy to respond.